surprising how the dull pain irritates more than it should. surprising how someone so ignorant would cause this much anger. no, sorrow. this much sorrow. surprising the extent of my egotism until such resentment is possible between friends. i would give her a dynamite disguised in a bouqet of blood red daisies, walk away slowly and smile at the loud destruction as it hits my back and kills me too. my eyes would be open as i die and the brightness will never leave it.