Friday, February 17, 2006

my body betrays me oft. it is an animal i cannot tame. still the greater embarrassment comes from having no desire to tame it. i just go along as it indulges in its animalistic pleasures while i watch from a television screen from inside and greedily hoard everything that the body earned. it would creep into my mind like black poison gas and i am suddenly made known how i am dying so slowly, so wrongly. how i am sinking instead of elevating. the thing i fear most is how i know if i don't gain some control with haste, i will pay for it with eternity. still i lay still as my body does as it pleases. sick. now i have a sick thought about cutting myself up to pieces and death with scissors. i have dire need for a brainwash.


so she lied at 6:12:00 pm